Seasons of Change

Get ready, this is one of those bearing your soul types of posts.

As the sun is finally beginning to shine and winter fades, I have been extremely contemplative of seasons. However, not just seasons, but seasons of life.

The amount of seasons a person goes through in life is mind blowing. Truly, I look at my life as a 20 something and have been blown away by the waves of my life.

The coming of spring is slowly but surely revealing itself to be an overarching metaphor of my current life. Coming out of a huge season of trial filled with heartbreak, defeat and anger, I am finally feeling the hope Christ has gave us. For so long I was so angry. So burdened by this weight of anger towards everything. It clearly directly affected my relationship with friends, my happiness and my relationship with Christ. 

I just came off my yearly missions trip to Tucson, Arizona and cannot explain how hopeful I am. I am not sure if it is the people there or the way the sun shined, but God so clearly worked in giving me a wake up call.

I need to get myself together.

There is a season for trial and a season for pain, but that season is not life defining. It is now time to seek joy. Wholeheartedly seek the peace of Christ that I have been praying for this whole semester. 

One of my biggest struggles throughout this whole period of trial is my confusion with God's plan and the direction he has for me. Not just my future life, but my immediate life. For weeks I just cried at the series of changes thrown into my life.

Do I know what I am doing with my life? No.
Do I know what I am doing with my summer? No.
Do I know what I am doing with my major? No.
Do I know who will be my community once I graduate? No.
Do I even know what I am doing tomorrow? No.

But guess what. 

Our society tells us we have to have everything figured out. We so often think that if we cannot control our life, then we fail. Yet, God is the one who is ultimately in control. He has an overarching plan that if I try to control, I mess up. 

I am now seeking joy over anger. Seeking peace of worry. Seeking Christ over this world.

I am pretty pumped I am on to a new season. It feels good.

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